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Unraveled

Unraveled

photo credit: Lhopfan via photopin cc

photo credit: Lhopfan via photopin cc

Today. Sharing space with my Soul Sister on her birthday. Her friendship and words are a gift to me and I know she is to many others as well. Help me wish her a blessed day?

But first, a note from her: Recently my husband and I moved our family halfway around the world. Now I’m trying to figure out what being a wife and mom looks like in this new culture. Learning a new language, hearing life stories and sharing tea with women are privileges that make up my new life. I am so humbled to share my stories and experiences here at Operation: Leap of Faith and thankful to my sister at heart, Katie, for giving me the page as often as she does. -SS

It’s confirmed. We’re a mess. A total and complete mess.

A mess that I’d really rather keep hidden from curious, watching eyes. But that doesn’t seem to be possible.

We share a house with another family, and while we have our own space–the entire bottom floor–we share a yard. And we live a good bit of our life in the yard. For some reason, our faults and cracks are revealed in this yard.

I love our yard. It’s a beautiful haven in a very broken, scary place. It provides respite and protection for us. And most of the time, enjoyment for both families’ children. However, the other day, it all seemed to be unraveling. And the more I pulled at the ball of string to try to contain the mess, the faster it unraveled.

Our daughter has a mind of her own. She is very assured of herself and uses words confidently. It was a battle of wills between her and the adults God unwisely put her in the care of. Unfortunately, she picked the moments that we were on
display to assert her longing for independence. As any parent, I wanted to hide the ugly conflict from an audience. But sometimes, life goes on display. A little more of the string comes undone.

As we left to walk to a friend’s house for dinner, she continued her diatribe about how long it would take to walk, tears streaming down her face. The guards that stand at the gate next door were fascinated. Yes, thank you, this is our family. Take a good look. We’re messy.

I had a crisis of heart, right there in the middle of the muddy road. I really wanted to escape. Pretend that I wasn’t fighting for the moral integrity of my family. Have you ever wanted to leave a crying, arguing, fussing child in the middle of a road and walk away? Well, that was me.

But for some reason I continued to hold her hand and put one foot in front of the other. Isn’t that how it is sometimes? We push through, because really, at the end of the day, we know that bedtime is coming and tomorrow will start new.

I feel sometimes like standing in a circle of friends and raising my hand and saying, “my name is Soul Sister. I am a mess. My children are messes. If you want to be my friend you must be comfortable with less than perfect. And love us anyway.”

Who might need your love this week because they are desperately trying to hang onto an unraveling string? Is it you? If so, embrace the pile of string around you and know you are not alone. Your mess, my mess, shows that we are redeemed sinners.

We cannot do this without a rescuer. It gives hope to those watching, that do not yet know. When we continue walking, striving, seeking, accepting, loving one another, and living in the yard, we show that He is able to make something worthwhile out of our unraveled ball of string.

Comments

  1. Marianna says:

    Thanks for sharing. I have been there. I wanted to leave said child in Target last week. We are all a mess depending on the Lord every day. Some of us have more visible “tantrums” than others.

  2. Christina says:

    Oh, Soul Sister! It’s likely that circle of friends would welcome the honesty because they’re probably living in their own messes! I know I would if I were standing in that circle. And I’d embrace your mess too! Thanks for sharing, and on your birthday no less! Hope it was a happy one…mess and all! Hugs!

  3. Pattie Hannah says:

    Ah, yes, the messy days…I know them well. Those are the days that cannot contain the sludge that resides in this clay pot. Nope, it just all oozes out, showing itself to anyone who happens to be standing nearby. I am thankful for the potter who knows how to transform
    sludge into treasure.

    I love you, Soul sister. I hope your birthday was delightful!

  4. Pat Minor says:

    I am a also mess. My children are messes (literally and figuratively!). Last place I wanted to leave one was Bruster’s, but he would have enjoyed that way too much. I don’t know much about knitting. I took a few lessons from my 5th grade teacher and made a really lumpy coaster or something. But I think the yarn’s gotta unravel a bit to be knit it something warm and beautiful and useful. Love you, Soul Sister. Thinking of you as you continue to be knit into something warm and beautiful and useful. Hope you had a great birthday!

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